Late-Night Comics Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme

Television's prominent entertainers used their evening mocking ex-President Donald Trump's newly unveiled visa initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant cash-for-residency scheme for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Spin

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday song targeting the president. "He is making a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... ruins all he touches."

Colbert's target was the controversial program that allows international citizens to acquire U.S. residence for the price of $1 million dollars, with a "top-tier" tier for 5 million. An official website guarantees processing "in record time."

"A brief note here to affluent applicants: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He noted that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, involving large fees. "That is a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The best vetting the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these people truly meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow rich international individuals to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"Perhaps it's time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining poll ratings during financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to tackle cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a selection of food items, and behaved oddly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative news defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.